My best.

Am I always giving it my best?

A simple question with a complicated answer if you’re cursed with the flaw of perfectionism, like me, my literal brain has to work through this aphorism. It’s the words. “always”, “it”, “best”. These are shitty words, lacking context and nuance.

Self-awareness is a good first step to defining these terms for ourselves.

“Always” - A word with no regard for time or place. No one can always be doing everything. Is it time to listen? Is time to remain calm or act with urgency? Is it time for reading, meditation, thinking, writing, working, being with family, making smart financial decisions, or just being present… or is it time to plan your time to ensure you can be your best in any of these equally important responsibilities?

“It” - what task am I trying to do my best at? How can I be the best listener when I’m driving my whole family in the car? Shouldn’t I be the best driver in this moment? (You know, for their physical safety) What priorities are most important at any moment in time?

“Best” - My best, your best, our best. The Best? Again, It’s subjective and open to context of the who, what, when, why and how…. the task, the time and the place. In retrospect, we can always see room for improvement. Hindsight is 20/20. But even a post-mortem assessment to determine if something went well, even that can be improved.

I know I don’t get to my best in one shot or one moment… It takes practice.

In any present moment, perhaps going through the motions is giving it my best? Zoom out, maybe it’s getting me closer to something that is my best.

Considering the list of other tasks, I must equally allocate my best efforts toward. Perhaps haste is the best strategy for certain tasks, whereas meticulous deliberation is best for others?

So do I always “give it my best” ?

Perhaps the most honest answer is, I am open to improvement. I am a lifelong learner. Sometimes I’m more open than other moments. I know closed minded stagnation will not yield “the best” results.

So do I always “give it my best” ?

Take the ego out of it. The “my” in my best… I know what I’m capable of. I know what is good, for me. It may be good or good enough or not. Does some else consider it good? Does this matter? This comes down to my intentions. Did I do a thing to be impressive? Did I do it for others to praise? If yes, then others’ opinions matter in assessing my best. I have, however, learned I am not fulfilled by other people’s opinions of me, although I do care what other people think. I am learning to understand that from a place of curiosity, not judgement.

Am I always giving it my best? Sure.

Is this the best blog post I could write? It’s a blog… did it solve the world’s questions? No. Was it meant to? Is it the best I could do in 20 min on a Monday morning? For today. Did it help me collect some thoughts swimming around in my head? Yes, so it’s my best. My best blog post for Monday, May 15th.

Today, I will do my best, considering my intentions, knowledge, training, practice and ability up to this moment in time. Tomorrow, I may do better. Most likely, not as good without doing my best today.